Journey

This is about my spiritual journey and trying to find what God is calling me to next.

#FaithMOOC

Recently, I wrote about Discrenment MOOC as a place where I, and others, could explore together in the discernment process. I am still hoping to explore that, but I suspect some of that may be a little too specific. So, I’m expanding the idea to #FaithMOOC. There are lots of places information about faith online, but I haven’t found a lot of community around exploring faith online.

I have been following certain sites, like Water Daily and theSearchforReal. and The Desert Retreat House. I’m sure there are others out there.

Yet this week, I found Searching For Sunday: Forward and Prologue. It is an online book study which will have weekly questions, and hopefully some good discussion online. Time permitting, I hope to respond to the questions and share ideas on my own blog, in a typical connectivist MOOC manner.

My online wanderings also led me to the e-Formation blog. I haven’t explored that site much yet, but it is on my list. I am also looking forward to a meeting on Thursday where I’ll hope to get even more ideas.

I’ve also enjoyed using The Lectionary Page to shape some of my reading. Today was the feast of St. Matthew. Tomorrow is the feast of Philander Chase, Bishop of Ohio, and of Illinois, former rector of Christ Church, Hartford, and founder of Kenyon College.

Where will this lead? I’m not sure. Yet to try to encourage conversation, let me ask, what online faith resources have you found most interesting?

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Discernment MOOC

In the middle of what I described yesterday as a week that I expect to be very long, I received an email today about another step in my spiritual journey. The Diocesan Dean of Formation sent me an email saying that she had invited my parish priest to form a discernment group for me.

For those not acquainted with the language or the process it describes, people seeking a greater understand of how they can best serve God, including the possibility of becoming a priest, enter a discernment process. In Connecticut, a parish will organize a discernment group for a person in this process. It is a small group that meets around nine times to help the person get a better sense of what God is calling the person to.

As a blogger, living much of my life out loud, online, I am looking for the best ways to connect this process with my online writing. It is challenging because the face to face group is confidential. So, instead of writing about that group I hope to write about the questions being posed and the insights I gain from the group and invite a larger online community to share, in a more public manner, their thoughts which might also help me in my discernment process.

This online process, might take the form akin to a connectivist MOOC. I hope to learn more about my journey both in a private confidential small face to face group as well as in a large public online group. I hope that others, participating in the online group, might learn more about their journey as well, and that we might all learn more about how learning and spiritual growth can take place online in the twenty-first century.

I expect it will still be a few weeks before my face to face discernment group starts, and I’m thinking that the Discernment MOOC should parallel that, so I won’t dive into the core of the discernment MOOC for a few weeks. Until then, I am just floating this idea. What are your thoughts? Are you interested in participating? Do you know others that might be interested? Are there things I should consider or avoid?

Reimagining Discernment

I am trying to get a clearer sense of how I can better serve God in the twenty first century. In the Episcopal Church there are certain steps that need to be taken if that calling leads to becoming a priest. The church is also reimagining what it should look like in the twenty first century, so part of my process includes reimaging discernment.

As a starting point, I have a strong sense that God is calling me to the priesthood. I’m not exactly sure why, and I hope to get a better sense of that as time goes on. I hesitate to say this out of fear of being mistaken and embarrassed, or of somehow jinxing the process, but I hope my thoughts here will be helpful for others seeking discernment, whether or not it is in the Episcopal Church, and whether or not it might lead to Holy Orders.

I remember, years ago, hanging out with very committed fundamentalist evangelists who would often say things beginning with something like, “God has told me that you should … “. How do you respond to something like that? I eventually discovered a response that seemed to affirm the speaker, while leaving plenty of room to explore what God really thinks I should be doing. “That’s great! Pray that God tells me the same thing.”

It seems like something similar should apply in the discernment process. For Episcopalians, with their Trinitarian views, as well as their commitment to the three legged stool of Scripture, Tradition, and Reason, a three legged response to discernment makes sense.

To me, the discernment process is about aligning my will with the will of the church and the will of God. We need to find, and act, on God’s will. We need to seek to discern God’s will. We need to seek to align our will to God’s will. I suspect we all have a bit of Jonah in us, a hesitancy or fear of responding to God. We also need to seek to better understand the needs of our church. What does our church need? By way of analogy, if a football team needs running backs, but not another quarter back, then seeking to be a quarter back is going to be much more difficult. We should seek to serve where we will be of the most value.

What does God want? What does the organizations we are part of need? What are we willing to do? It seems like three questions all of us should be asking about our lives, no matter what we are seeking to do and no matter what organizations we are seeking to do it within.

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A Better Sense of Calling

Today, I met with the Bishop and some of the members of the Commission on Ministry in the Episcopal Church in Connecticut to explore how I can better serve God in the church. It is something I’ve been trying to get a better sense of for the past few months.

I approached the meeting with great anticipation. How would they respond? Would it be more like a job interview or a meeting with my priest when I’m seeking guidance? The first order of business was opening with prayer and I was reassured. These were God’s people, my brothers and sisters, helping me get a better sense of God’s will for me.

If this had been like a job interview, it could have gone badly very quickly. The essay I had written for them didn’t have the sort of answers an employer might look for. It was about expecting the unexpected. So much of my life has been about that. So much of my life has been about doing something that didn’t exist five years earlier. How does my unexpected journey towards that which is beyond comprehension fit within the structure and tradition of the Episcopal Church?

It seemed like this is something we were all interested in figuring out, and at one point the bishop asked how one scenario fit with my thoughts about where God was calling me, and the scenario described better than I had been able to, so far, my thoughts about where God was calling me.

We ended as we started, in prayer. I came away feeling affirmed, feeling that I have a better sense of where God is leading me and more excited about the journey ahead. It is down a path of the unexpected, but even on that path there are things we know. God’s love abides. Please, continue to pray for me in my journey.

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An Interesting Week

Well, it looks like this is going to be a very interesting week. Today, Kim, Fiona, and I went hiking in Granby, CT and swam in some swimming holes near waterfalls. It was great. I came home to find a video of The Rev. Brian Baker talk about his experiences at Burning Man. It is a half hour long video, but I started watching it and was hooked. I had to watch the whole thing. I hope you will too.

Then, I learned that Larry Lessig will be running as a Democratic candidate for President. The Lessig for President Official Announcement will take place Wednesday at about noon in Claremont, NH. I am planning to drive up.

All of this is a precursor to a meeting Thursday afternoon with the Episcopalian Bishop of Connecticut, The Right Rev. Ian Douglas, and members of the Commission on Ministry to discuss how I could “help the Episcopal Church in CT be more faithful to God’s Mission”.

Where is all of this leading? Well, let’s check back next week see what transpires.

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