I have a kidney stone I am hoping to pass with a little pain as possible. The pain has ebbed and flowed. Often, including right now, it is minimal. At other points, I have been doubled over in pain. It is a sharp pain in my right side and as we enter Holy Week, I’ve been thinking about the physical pain that Jesus must have suffered. I can barely stand the pain that I have.

I am drinking as much fluids as I can to try and help the stone pass. I don’t know when it shall pass. Perhaps today, perhaps not for weeks. Perhaps it will pass with minimal pain. Perhaps the time of passing will be great pain. As I wait, both for the stone to pass, as well as I seek to walk with Jesus on the way of the Cross this week, I play on Youtube, Stay With Me – Taize.

I finish one glass of fluids and move on to the next. At home, I drink mostly very diluted pomegranate juice. The splash of juice makes it easier to drink more fluids and perhaps provides some additional benefits. For Lent, I’ve been getting up early to read the lessons for the day and pray.

It is a special time spent with the God of love, but it is a time or remembering God’s suffering. It can be challenging to stay focused, to stay in the presence of God, and not just doing a morning ritual, like the rituals performed by money changers in the temple. It can be difficult to stay in the presence of God thinking about the great suffering of the crucifixion.

So I try to mix things up. I try to tie my morning devotions as closely to the rest of my life as possible. This morning, I start off with the collect for the day.

O God, by the passion of your blessed Son you made an instrument of shameful death to be for us the means of life: Grant us so to glory in the cross of Christ, that we may gladly suffer shame and loss for the sake of your Son our Savior Jesus Christ; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

That is hard to pray. I move on to reading through posts in a Facebook group of Episcopalians online.

There are so many prayer requests. Prayers of God’s people. So much suffering. I pray for a person who has a very stressful meeting at work coming up today. I pray for a woman whose nephew is struggling with addiction, and for her struggles as well. How often do we pray for people in addiction after they leave a recovery program? How many times are we called to not give up hope? Seven times? No, we are told, seven times seventy. “Stay with me” continues to play, thinking of Jesus in the garden and Nick in the streets.

I pray for another who has had a terrible 2015, and 2016 isn’t looking much better, yet. I pause to enjoy looking at various prayer beads people have shared pictures of. I pray for a woman and her nine year old daughter as they wait to hear about approval for housing. I pray for another woman who is hoping to find people to work with on an important project.

Then, I stop to pray for CEC Fairfield Community of Hope Initiative which “serves a small, poverty stricken, historical city in Alabama that is currently facing overwhelming financial hardship and turmoil.”

“Stay with me” plays again. Watch and pray. There are churches around the country struggling to bring hope to desperate situations.

Presiding Bishop Curry talks about being part of the Episcopal branch of the Jesus movement. These people that I am praying for, I am connected to by the online arm of the Episcopal branch of the Jesus movement.

“Bless all whose lives are closely linked with ours, and grant that we may serve Christ in them, and love one another as he loves us.”