Searching for Sunday: Hymns

In the Searching for Sunday book study group blog at St. James West Hartford, Jackie Keen reflects on the confirmation section of the book. She talked about the music that traveled with her, so I’ve reflected on this a little. In my spiritual autobiography, I wrote a bit about different hymns that have touched me.

I thought about this, today, on the third anniversary of my mother’s death as I drove up to the funeral for the mother of a friend.

The day Thou gavest, Lord, is ended,
The darkness falls at Thy behest;
To Thee our morning hymns ascended,
Thy praise shall sanctify our rest.

We sang this hymn at the vespers service at the poetry conference at Yale Divinity School last spring. The singing of this hymn, the vespers service, and the whole conference, were important parts of me entering the latest phase of my spiritual journey.

The hymn is often thought of as an evening hymn, a vespers hymn. It was has a missionary context harkening to a day when the sun never set on the British Empire.

As o’er each continent and island
The dawn leads on another day,
The voice of prayer is never silent,
Nor dies the strain of praise away.

It struck me, that this is a great hymn for memorial services as well. The day, the life, the Lord gave has ended. There is darkness. Yet there is also hope of a new day, or resurrection, or eternity.

The sun that bids us rest is waking
Our brethren ’neath the western sky,
And hour by hour fresh lips are making
Thy wondrous doings heard on high.

So be it, Lord; Thy throne shall never,
Like earth’s proud empires, pass away:
Thy kingdom stands, and grows forever,
Till all Thy creatures own Thy sway.

As I think of this, the words of Abide With Me come to mind.

Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
The darkness deepens; Lord with me abide.
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, O abide with me.

On top of this, my wife had surgery on Wednesday. I’ve been trying to care for her, deal with food, and cleaning the house, as I’ve dealt with work and a funeral. Besides eternal rest, there is also the daily rest, and I think of that this evening as I head off to bed. There are other hymns that are on the peripheries of my mind about God giving rest to the weary, but I cannot grasp them right now.

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To an Oversized Stuffed Bear

There was nothing joyful
about
the oversized
stuffed bear
from the aisle
next to
the children’s pain relievers
at the local drug store.

It brought the mother
and child
brief happiness
before
being placed
in a memorial
to a child
who died
way too early.

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#sms15 Social Media, Outreach, Stewardship, and St. Crispin's Day

Today was Social Media Sunday, yet I didn’t get a chance to post from church. It was St. Crispin’s Day, and I shared about that from Facebook in the afternoon. It was our turn to host participate in Chapel on the Green, and between services I helped make sandwiches. It was also my turn to speak to the church as part of the stewardship drive. Below are my comments as I prepared them.

We believe in One God, the Father Almighty, Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Most merciful Lord, we confess that we have sinned against you, in thought, word and deed. All things come of thee oh Lord and of thine own, with gratitude, have we given thee. These words wash over us on Sundays and I want to take a moment to think about some of them.

All things come of thee oh Lord, and of thine own, with gratitude, have we given thee.

I think of this during those long vestry meetings when we struggle over the budget. All things, the pledges and the expenses come ultimately from God. I often mention Psalm 127 at these times, “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.” The Lord is building something special here at Grace and St. Peter’s.

Years ago, I served on the vestry of a church that had no endowment, or rather, as our Priest would say, our endowment was the members of the Church. Coming up with a workable budget was hard, but we did it.

I was an IT executive on Wall Street at the time, making a lot of money and pledging generously, I thought, to the church. My wife of the time ran the Sunday School program. We had two daughters, as beautiful as Job’s.

All things come of thee oh Lord….

If I were preaching a prosperity gospel, I would stop right here, but that’s not how the story really goes. My wife told me she wanted a divorce. I suffered greatly and was hospitalized. I met Kim as I tried to put my life back together, but it was still difficult. Kim’s mother died. I lost my job. We lost our house and went bankrupt. Kim got Lyme disease and we drifted from church to church. There was a lot of brokenness.

All things come of thee oh Lord…

I can’t pretend to make sense out of what happened. If I was stuck with a prosperity gospel, I would have ended up stuck with a crisis of faith, or worse. Where did the prosperity go? But that’s not how the story goes either. People from church, from the various churches I’ve attended along the way were there to help. Maybe a meal, or a place to stay, or sometimes just a smile, always showing God’s Love.

All things come of thee oh Lord …

When I think of giving back to the church, I also sometimes think of Matthew 25: "And the King will say, 'I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!'

… and of thine own, with gratitude, have we given thee.

To each of you who have given so much to me, and to our family, a word of encouragement, a smile, a hug, a meal: thank you.

There have been times, when the money was tight, that we couldn’t make a financial pledge. There were times that it was a struggle even to sing, or to smile, but ultimately what I can give back, what has been given to all of us, by God, is love, and the financial pledges, all the other stuff we give back is but a manifestation of God’s love.

So, I ask you, as you fill out your pledge forms, pledge your prosperity, pledge your brokenness, but most importantly, pledge the Love God has given you.

All things come of thee oh lord, and of thine own, with gratitude, have we given thee.

Thank you.

The Hangar

Little did I know,
those forty years ago,
when I wrote my
lame comedy column
for the school newspaper,
The Mount Greylock
Echo
how it’s words would
echo
in my life today.

Little did I know,
those forty years ago
when I logged into
a distant computer
over a slow telephone line
from the small computer room
just off the guidance counsellor’s office
how computers would change
and change us
as I glance
at The Mount Greylock
Echo
webpage
with the latest news
from my old
high school.

Little did I know
as I practiced Morse code
in the basement of a friend’s house
or played with
army surplus
radio equipment
my father had
in our own basement
how much radio and communications
would change
and how much
it would stay the same.

Little did I know,
during those after school hours
huddling in the dark room
developing film
shot with old cameras
in the nasty chemicals
how one day
I would take a picture
with my telephone
and share it over
radio signals.

Little did I know
that forty years later
I would see an old
black and white photo
scanned into a computer
shared over the internet
to a thing called Facebook
and the memories
it would elicit.

It was junior high school
in the early seventies
when we were discovering
ourselves,
our bodies,
girls,
and archeology.
We were learning critical skills
as we dug in the sand
in the carefully constructed grid
laid out by our teachers.

Now,
some of our classmates
have died
way to early
friends have become distant
as other classmates
that we didn’t know
or couldn’t stand
have become friends,
and one of them posted
not only
the scanned in
black and white pictures
which brought forth
so many memories
but also the article
in the Mount Greylock ECHO
about the hangar
being demolished.

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#SMS15 and Vestry Blogging

This coming Sunday is Social Media Sunday. As a regular church goer, and a social media professional, I’m recognize the value of this and will participate, at least to some extent. However, I have problems with a lot of church related social media that I’ve seen so far, so I’ll participate in my own idiosyncratic way.

It has often seemed that a lot of church social media activity has been around the nuts and bolts of churches, things like publicizing events. There is a value to this, but to me it feels a bit Martha-ish, focused on the preparations and not on the presence of Christ. I’m still looking for ways to make the presence of Christ felt online. Until then, I’ll continue to check in on social media sites at church, similar to how I check in at the transfer station on Saturday mornings. I’ll continue to post about events, at church as well as at church and in the community.

It struck me, this morning, that perhaps there are some parallels to vestry minutes. When I became Clerk of my parish’s vestry, I wondered, how do I make the presence of Christ felt in the minutes of vestry meetings? Such minutes are legal documents of a governing body. They are often terse, “after much discussion, a motion was made to …” Could I write vestry minutes as a poem? As a blog post?

With this in mind, here are some of my thoughts about our vestry meeting. One of our vestry members asked to resign from vestry due to personal reasons. We discussed whether we should fill the vacancy immediately, or wait until the annual meeting. What if there was a close vote on some vestry issue?

Fortunately, our vestry has not had to face close votes on an issue. In fact the only time I can remember anyone not voting for a motion has been when we were approving the minutes of a meeting they were not at and they abstained. Unlike a political body, where the minutes of regular meetings need to be published ahead of time and what gets included on the agenda can be a matter of conflict, vestries are leaders of Christian communities. We might not always agree, but we work hard to find consensus and work closely together.

This led into another topic. Typically, at our vestry meetings one of the first agenda items is to approve the agenda for the meeting. I don’t know how many other vestries have such an agenda item, and we discussed whether this is really necessary given the nature of our vestry meetings.

Like many churches, our church faces financial challenges. As we talked about pledges and the budget, the topic of our diocesan pledge came up. It seems like this is a frequent area of conflict in vestries. How much should we, as a church, pledge to the diocese? Perhaps it mirrors the discussion around dinner tables as families discuss how much they should pledge to their parish. We talked about how the diocesan pledge is in our budget under outreach and about the importance of program the diocese does as a community of churches that we can do individually. We talked about the upcoming diocesan convention, who would attend, what some of the topics that would be addressed were.

So far, this all still feels a bit dry and doesn’t get to what makes vestry meetings special. Yet the next discussion captures part of what makes our vestry meetings special. The budget committee talked about their meeting. We talked about how we need tighten up our budget and reduce more of our deficit. Yet a key part of the focus was about how we could use some of our assets to help refugees. Yes, we need a sustainable budget to sustain our mission, but the focus needs to be on our mission.

I was struck by how the discussion focused on things that we couldn’t do as a single parish and about the desire to work with other churches, how like the diocesan pledge?

We talked about failed ministries, successful ministries, and we prayed. God’s love for us was very present. It was present in our love for people we had helped. It was present in our love for people we tried to help and seem to have failed. It was present in our love for one another.

Can we use social media to help us rethink our relationship to our parish, to our diocese, to our mission, to God’s love? I hope so.

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