Years ago, I took an online course, Grief in a Family Context. It is a reference point for me, something I keep coming back to. I wrote about it back in January when I stumbled across some blogs I really liked.

I referenced it a few days ago when I learned about kielle. Today, I refer to it again as I talk about another writer whom you really should read.

I’ve mentioned Gina Coggio in this post. She is a school teacher in New Haven that writes very moving pieces about her life and the life of her students.

I took the grief class about five years ago. I remember concepts like disenfranchised grief and anticipatory grief. I remember talking about how different cultures handled grief and how my classmates had approached grief in their own lives. Most of all, and I don’t remember if this was from the class, from discussions with other students, or from my own experiences with people in their grief, I remember the phrase, “bring donuts”.

It was the advice of an old priest who had counseled many people during their times of grief. He had found the most important thing was to “bring donuts”. Sit with people. Share with them. Don’t try to tell them you "know how they feel", "you’ll be over with it soon", or "just snap out of it". Just sit with people, and bring donuts.

So, for Gina and Brinn and for all of Kielle’s friends, her is a virtual donut.