For years, I’ve been putting up webpages, writing articles and blog entries, but it has always been as a renter, as part of some other site, and not as a homeowner. My writing has been my passion, but not my vocation.

I’ve kicked around ideas of writing books or articles, and I have various pieces under construction, but they’ve languished on my hard drive. Last month, I received an invitation to be a credentialed blogger at the Democratic National Convention. It was a wonderful experience and I hope many of you read some of my commentary over at Greater Democracy

Yesterday, an old friend was visiting from Maine. We all gathered at another friends house for a ‘sweat’. I’ve never been to a sweat before and wasn’t sure exactly what to expect, nor can I comment on how authentic it was.

When I got there, they had a good fire going, and were putting rocks in the fire. A little ways off from the fire was the frame of the sweat lodge. It was made of small branches bent and tied together. We covered this frame with blankets and when the stones were good and hot we placed them in a pit in the middle of the sweat lodge.

Six of us sat in the sweat lodge. At times, people reflected silently, or aloud, about ancestors, spirits and transformations. I thought about a commentary I had heard by Dan Schorr on NPR’s Weekend Edition addressing the issue of ‘flip flops’. I don’t recall his exact words, and I can’t find a transcript online, but he spoke about the importance of embracing change and how any politician who doesn’t change his positions in a changing world is doing a disservice to the country.

I thought about my own changes, a divorce and remarriage, my time as an IT executive, as a consultant and my time looking for work. I wondered if I have been sufficiently embracing change and transformation.

I’ve always loved writing and I’ve often thought of putting together this website. I decided, sitting in that sweat lodge, that the time has come for me to take the next step. I’ve registered the domain, I’ve started configuring the site, and now I need to organize my writings and add new ones.

Do I call myself a writer? Will I find a way to get enough income while writing to be able to support my family and myself? Am I approaching this in the right way? I don’t know. These are always things that have held me back in the past.

The day before, I had sat at the pool and watched an osprey fly overhead with a nice sized fish firmly grasped in his talons. As I sat in the sweat lodge and listened to friends speak about the spirits, I thought of that osprey. What is it like when an osprey is first learning to fish, as it dives down to the water? Does it fear missing, or hitting the water too hard? Does it fear its transformation?

I remember as a kid, being afraid to dive off the diving board. I still feel some of that fear as I attempt a flip, which I’m still not very good at. I remember times going off the diving board, and not landing right, and how much that hurt.

Yet the young osprey learns how to dive, how to fish. So, it is now time for me to set up this website, and begin calling myself a writer.