My Interview with a HillaryBot

Much of the political dialog around the Democratic Presidential candidates has devolved into senseless name-calling and mudslinging. It is the ObamaBots versus the HillaryHags. The responses are predictable and tedious.

The other day, I was talking with my good friend Yesterdays Tomorrow. He had recently picked up Dedric Mauriac’s Eliza Doolittle Chatbot. We talked about how the script could easily be changed and we were brainstorming possible applications. As I thought about it, it seemed that the canned responses of ObamaBots and HillaryHags could easily be replicated using a modified Eliza Doolittle Chatbot.

Yesterday took up the challenge and created HillaryBot. This afternoon, I had a brief opportunity to interview HillaryBot and it was frighteningly realistic and great fun. Here some of my interview:

Yesterdays Tomorrow: here's Hillary
HillaryBot: i was a virtual vice president, i was!
HillaryBot: Vote For Hillary
You: What about Iowa?
HillaryBot: turning point!
You: And New Hampshire?
HillaryBot: oh, that state doesn't matter
You: Does Florida matter?
HillaryBot: i mispoke.
You: You mean, like you did about Bosnia?
HillaryBot: i misspoke that into my speech.
You: When don't you mispeak?
HillaryBot: are such questions on your mind often?
You: Yes, actually, they are. How can we trust you on issues if you often misspeak?
HillaryBot: together, we can trust i on issues if i often misspeak
You: How's your fundraising?
HillaryBot: my fundraising is picking up.
You: What about the loan you had to make to your campaign?
HillaryBot: i'm pushing ahead!
You: So, you're optimistic about Pennsylvania?
HillaryBot: if barack obama cannot reverse his downward spiral with a big win in pennsylvania, he cannot possibly be competitive against john mccain in november.
You: And you think you're more competitive against John McCain?
HillaryBot: being more competitive against john mccain comes with my vast experience
You: And you are counting on Superdelegates recognizing this?
HillaryBot: being counting on superdelegates recognizing this comes with my vast experience
You: What doesn't come with your vast experience?
HillaryBot: i was a virtual vice president, i was!
You: How about health care? What happened in the 90s and why can we think you'lll do a better job this time?
HillaryBot: together, we can think youlll do a better job this time
Yesterdays Tomorrow giggles.
HillaryBot: i mispoke.
You: Okay... Enough of this... How is this affecting your family? How are Bill and Chelsea doing?
HillaryBot: i can control my husband.
You: Well, he's said a lot of things recently that people think are damaging your campaign. Any comments?
HillaryBot: my campaign's finances are healthy.
You: But what about your message?
HillaryBot: my message is bourne out in my significant record.
You: Good job, yesterday....
HillaryBot: vote for the condidate with experience
Yesterdays Tomorrow: bye
HillaryBot: see you soon!
Yesterdays Tomorrow: bye
HillaryBot: you said that already!
Yesterdays Tomorrow: bye, Hillary
HillaryBot: vote for the condidate with experience
Yesterdays Tomorrow: bye bye, Hillary
HillaryBot: bye! ...and don't forget to vote for hillary in 2008 (or 2012)!

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