CHICAGO – In a strange turn of events, Rick Santelli dies after house fire. Police report that noted CNBC reporter Rick Santelli died of third degree fire burns after being unable to obtain treatment at local hospital. Friday evening, Mr. Santelli, celebrating the success of his commentary from the trading floor of the Chicago Mercantile Exchange appeared to have caught his house on fire when an ember from a cigar he was smoking fell on a flammable rug and rapidly spread.

Firemen who reported to the fire declined to put the fire out saying that such an action would only reward “bad behavior” and encourage others to smoke cigars and drink martinis. Several neighboring houses were also damaged as the fire spread.

Mr. Santelli was badly injured in the fire and transported to a local hospital where he was left to cool down in the waiting room as doctors and nurses concurred with local firemen and declined to provide treatment voicing similar concerns about rewarding “bad behavior”.

Chicago Mercantile Traders were pleased that the fire department and hospital did not subsidize the loser’s bad behavior.