A week and a half ago, Emma Keller wrote a column for the Guardian entitled, “Forget funeral selfies. What are the ethics of tweeting a terminal illness?” I have not read it. The Guardian took it down before I found out about it. It asks a very important question, which many others are writing about, much better than I can, but I hope to shed a little more light on the subject.

I first came across the column on Howard Rheingold’s Facebook wall where he talked about his experiences blogging about cancer four years ago, and pointing to an article in Gawker, Dear Bill Keller: I Have Cancer. Is That OK?

The author, Robert Kessler is undergoing treatment for non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and writing about it at Cancer? I Hardly Know Her!. He takes on Emma Keller, and her husband Bill who seem to take offense to people writing about cancer.

Another article posts part of Emma’s column, which is full of important questions. As the only part I have access to, I’ll stay away from attacking Emma, and instead, take these questions at face value.

Should there be boundaries in this kind of experience?
Yes! The patient should chose the boundaries that they are most comfortable with. Several friends have written beautiful cancer blogs and I have grown greatly from reading them. Others have chosen to remain silent about their cancer.

Is there such a thing as TMI?
Yes! This is a judgment call by the reader. What is too much information for one reader is fine for another. If you find you are reading something that goes into too much detail, whether it be a cancer blog or a steamy romance, the wisest thing may simply be to put it down and read something else. As I get older, I find I’m much more choosy about what media I consume. I wish more people were. For me, scripted reality shows are too much false information. Cancer blogs are much more real and valuable.

Are her tweets a grim equivalent of deathbed selfies, one step further than funeral selfies?
I’m not sure I would call them the ‘grim equivalent’, but they are related. My first thought is that in cancer blogging, there remains hope. Perhaps the treatment will be successful. Perhaps the patient will go into remission. Yet as I think more about it, even here there is equivalency. Even the deathbed selfie can contain hope, hope for something greater where there is no more crying or pain and God will wipe away every tear.

Dylan Thomas called us to ‘Go not gentle into that good night’ Cancer blogging and cancer tweeting, to me, are part of a grand tradition from deathbed and funeral selfies to Dylan Thomas’ poetry to so much great writing about all the struggles of life.

Why am I so obsessed?
I can’t say. I love reading great literature. It isn’t an obsession for me. I have the same reaction to people writing about all their life struggles. If Emma’s obsession is causing her problems, I would encourage her to speak with a therapist.

For the rest of us, let’s work together to have a healthier relationship to people’s health. Let’s find constructive ways to address health stigmas, whether it be cancer, mental health, HIV, or many others.