I’ve been reading ‘searching for Sunday’ by Rachel Held Evans, as part of a distant participation in St. James West Hartford’s book study. I got the book late, and have only now just barely caught up. The section for this week was ‘Communion’.

In this section, Rachel writes, “At Eagle Eyrie I learned why it’s so important for pastors to serve communion. It’s important because it steals the show. It’s important because it shoves you and your ego and your expectations out of the way so Jesus can do his thing. It reminds you that grace is as abundant as tears and faith as simple as food.”

This jumped out at me, as I struggle with my own journey. I feel that God is calling me to ordained ministry, but when asked what I think God really wants me to do as an ordained priest, I don’t have a good answer. Can’t I keep doing what I’ve been doing as a layperson? People have suggested looking at things that ordained priests can do that lay people can’t, such as celebrate the Eucharist.

Perhaps I need to become a priest so that I can celebrate the Eucharist as a means of keeping my ego and expectations in check. I remember years ago reading in the Articles of Religion, “Of the Unworthiness of the Ministers, which hinders not the effect of the Sacraments.”

It makes me think of the Rite I Eucharistic prayer:

And although we are unworthy, through our manifold sins, to offer unto thee any sacrifice, yet we beseech thee to accept this our bounden duty and service, not weighing our merits, but pardoning our offences, through Jesus Christ our Lord;

So how do we think about the story of Mary and Martha? The feast is important. It takes work. The typical guy’s response may be to put out a couple bags of chips and some beer, or perhaps a pile of wafers and some wine, but even so, the feast is important.

Where was the foot washing Jesus, who instead of saying that Mary has chosen what is better, wraps himself in an apron and helps prepare the meal? Was this something that couldn’t happen because of the historical context, or the context in the narrative?

Martha was doing something important, the preparations. The community, the companionship, the meal are important. Perhaps the central message really is about our distractions; how we let the means, become the ends. Are we preparing our meals because they have to be prepared, or are we preparing the meals to facilitate the communion and companionship of Jesus?