Standing Against the Pandemic of Dissension
On Thursday night, the discernment committee met and we discussed calling. What is our calling? What happened when we felt called by God? How is each one of us called by God? A large part of the discussion was around my calling, which to a certain extent makes sense since the discernment committee was convened to help me with this task, but part of helping me discern my calling is to hear the stories of others, and there were some other deeply moving stories told, and I would have loved to hear more about others callings.
We started off by reading the stories of the calling of Moses, Samuel, and Isaiah. Afterwards, I thought about writing the story of my calling in the style of the stories in the Old Testament. I’ve hesitated about posting it, lest it seem like boasting or blasphemy, but a dream I had last night caused me to rethink this. So, here is the story of the calling I experienced in May 2105 written in an Old Testament style.
During a guided meditation at a poetry conference at Yale Divinity School, the Lord came to me and said, "Aldon, I love you more than you can imagine or understand".
And I said to the Lord, "Lord, I am not worthy"
And the Lord said to me, "Aldon, I know all your faults, yet I have made you worthy through the blood of Christ"
And the Lord said to me, "Aldon, you have been made to show forth My Love to those around you. You have done this through your work, and your writing, and your politics. From now on this is to be your primary goal"
And I said to the Lord, "Here I am"
A month later, I was reading the Old Testament lesson about the calling of Isaiah in church on Trinity Sunday, and I said aloud, reading the lesson, and praying at the same time, "Here I am. Lord, send me."
And the Lord said to me, "The time has come for you to become an ordained priest." Over the following months, I struggled with these words. I thought about the process of becoming a priest, and the Lord said, "All will be accomplished according to my plan".
So, I began the process, seeking to better discern God’s will and learn God’s plan. As I spoke with the homeless man on the street, I asked the Lord, is this whom I should serve?", and the Lord answered, "yes". I spoke with the infirm man in the nursing home and I asked the Lord, "Is this whom I should serve?" and the Lord answered, "yes". I sat in church groups, praying for each member and I asked the Lord, "Are these whom I should serve?" and the Lord answered "yes."
I heard stories of politicians saying hateful things, things that I believed were contrary to God’s message, and I asked the Lord, “Should I love even these people?”
And the Lord said, “Yes.”
And I heard stories of religious leaders shunning other religious leaders and refusing aid from certain countries because of disagreements over doctrine, and I asked the Lord, “Should I love even these people?”
And the Lord said, “Yes.”
Last night, I dreamt that I was at some sort of religious camp or retreat. The organizer was saying various things that felt very narrow and would exclude people from hearing the message of God’s Love. I spoke the truth, in Love and he changed his ways.
I don’t expect to see such a change in the U.S. political discourse, or in the discourse of the Anglican Communion because of my words, but I pray that they might be at least a small ripple of hope, a ripple of love in a climate where dissension seems to have become pandemic.