The words of Walter Hilton rattle in my head as I sit in the Commuter Room at Yale Divinity School. “I am nothing. I have nothing. I seek one thing.” It has been nearly two years since I last worshipped at Marquand Chapel at Yale Divinity School. I was there for a conference on poetry and worship and during one of the services, I had a profound experience of the presence of God. It is tempting to try and put the experience in the language of mystics. Was it purgative? Illuminative? Unitive? Some combination of the three? I could easily digress on the human desire, bounded by time and language to find the appropriate category, but that seems wrong. Perhaps the only word to be used is ineffable.

I am currently taking a course on English Spirituality and Mysticism as part of the journey that started taking its current shape at Marquand Chapel two years ago. For this week, we have been reading Walter Hilton and Margery Kempe. One of the assignments is to make a spiritual pilgrimage.

I have been thinking a lot about the pilgrim, the alien, and the immigrant recently. Last Sunday in church we read from Leviticus, “When you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not reap to the very edges of your field, or gather the gleanings of your harvest. You shall not strip your vineyard bare, or gather the fallen grapes of your vineyard; you shall leave them for the poor and the alien”. Afterwards, I went to a meeting of how different faith communities could work together to welcome and care for the alien.

I had thought that perhaps I should make a pilgrimage to a federal court where there are deportation hearings. Perhaps I should make a metaphorical pilgrimage to Jericho, and join brothers and sisters walking around the federal court building praying that the walls of oppression would come down. If not there, perhaps to some church that provides sanctuary for immigrants.

I had thought that perhaps I should make a pilgrimage to some sacred space tied to monastic traditions like Holy Cross Monastery or The Cloisters in New York City. It would be a more complicated trip, logistically.

I had thought that perhaps I should make a pilgrimage to a digital space. A friend of mine recently died, an activist for those differently abled that I met online.

Yet the idea of returning to Marquand Chapel captured my attention. I looked and found that there was an Emmaus Dinner scheduled for Thursday evening, followed by a worship service in the chapel.

The words of Robert Louis Stevenson join my reflections. “To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive”. During the bible study there was talk about the process, of going from point A to point B and I wondered again about the human concept of time. T.S. Eliot bursts into my inner dialog.

Time present and time past
Are both perhaps present in time future,
And time future contained in time past.
If all time is eternally present
All time is unredeemable.

We go around the room introducing ourselves, a mixture of divinity students and professors, one prospective student, and myself. I think back to reading Aelred of Rievaulx and spiritual friendship. I want to find a spiritual friend. I want to be accepted. I want to find some way of getting my process back on track. Should I talk about my pilgrimage or my larger journey as I introduce myself? Can I make some sort of witty remark that will endear me to the others? Hilton’s voice pops up again, “I am nothing. I have nothing. I seek one thing.”

We talked about Colossians 1:15-20 and everyone complimented one another on profound comments. There were wonderful comments about the poetry of the section and explorations of Greek and Hebrew words. Yet I kept coming back to seeking that one thing.

One of the verses said, “all things have been created through him and for him” and that resonates with me. We are created for him. We are good. We are created in the Imago Dei. That one thing, to rediscover my Imago Dei, to clear away my brokenness that hides the Imago Dei. Yeah. Hilton is helping shape my thoughts this evening.

I’m not sure, yet where Margery Kempe fits in. I’m thinking that as a blogger, I share a certain kinship with Kempe and her autobiography. Yes, this is a part of my autobiography, posted online.

Next week, I intend to return to the Emmaus Dinner. The following week, I have two other things going on at the same time and won’t be able to make it. Then, we will be into Lent and a Lenten series will be taking place at the same time as the Emmaus Dinners. I will need to figure out which to go to when.