An Ember Letter During Finals

It has been three months since I last wrote and Ember letter. During this time, I’ve written a vast amount for school, but very little of it, a mere five blog posts, have been public long-form writing. I am just wrapping up my fourth semester of seminary and have one paper and a few online assignments to go. It has been a challenging time with the deaths of various friends, the physical and spiritual struggles of others, and ongoing financial concerns.

Through all of this, various things have sustained me. The words of Julian of Norwich stay with me, “All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.” They may not always be easy, they may not always be fun, but all is well.

I experience this most profoundly in the circle of friends that surround me, my family, friends at various churches I attend, and especially my seminary classmates. It seems like I am surrounded by so many people who are struggling and at the same time know that all will be well.

Another bright spot over the past semester has been a course I’ve been taking, “Postmodern Christian Education”. It has given me much to think about as I extend the idea of praying without ceasing to also include learning and teaching without ceasing. It has given me frameworks and tools to more fully live into my role as a learner and a teacher.

Theology 1 has been a much greater challenge, perhaps because I’m drawn to asystematic thinking and experiences of the divine that are not limited to Western rationality.

It still feels as if my path is towards the bi-vocational Episcopal priesthood, perhaps in part because I am currently a bi-vocational seminarian at an Episcopal divinity school. Perhaps some of it is because, in my safe New England thinking, the idea of taking a leap of faith to other traditions, locations, and vocations is so challenging. Yet the words of Jesus to the rich man in Luke haunt me. By global standards, I am rich, even though it doesn’t feel that way in the midst of financial struggles.

Recently, friends have suggested I look into a residential Orthodox seminary in Pennsylvania. The logistics of pulling up stakes and moving to a seminary in Pennsylvania has always seemed nearly impossible, perhaps in a manner that selling everything one has and giving to the poor seemed impossible to the rich man in Luke. With my youngest off in college and the flux in the lives of my wife and me, it somehow seems a little less impossible.

Nonetheless, there is something powerful and liberating about being in a place of unknowing and uncertainty. Yet time marches on. In January, I’ll be taking “Prep for Field Ed” and I need to think about where my field ed placement should be. Right now, my dream field education placement would be at a large multi-cultural Episcopal parish that has strong liturgical traditions but still makes space for experimentation and life beyond the four walls of the sanctuary. It would be a parish with a strong practice of caring for the oppressed and marginalized in society. It would be a parish that is involved in ecumenical and inter-faith activities. I’ve also thought about the possibility of doing two years of field education, one year in the Episcopal Church and one year in the Orthodox Church.

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