For the past few years, I’ve been seriously overscheduled. I’ve been working full time and supporting my family as I work on an M. Div. in seminary. The past several months became more overscheduled as I started my internship at a nearby church. Now, we are dealing with the coronavirus pandemic. Some people are furloughed or working from home with fewer work demands. I am part of a communications team for a health care organization, so I’ve been working harder than ever. Likewise, the church I serve at has moved to online services. As a digital communications specialist, this has resulted in a lot more for me to do for church as well. To top it all off, we are entering Holy Week.

There are so many things I would like to be doing or feel like I should be doing. For our wellness program at work, I had a goal of walking at least 6,000 steps each day. I completed that in January when I was on campus in California. February was not so successful. March was looking really promising until the final few days of the month. April hasn’t started off all that well either.

Also, April is National Poetry Month. Other years, I wrote a poem every day for National Poetry Month. I would have liked to have done that this year. I would like to be journaling every day during the pandemic. I am working on a research paper for my class on Buddhism in the West. I’m exploring the impact of Buddhism on American Poetry and am, among other things, reading Han Shan. Really, I’d love to write a journal/poem each day addressing the coronavirus tied to poems of Han Shan.

Yet I’m tired. Really tired. It doesn’t seem like I should be so tired, especially if I’m not getting time to get out and walk. It occurred to me, this morning, however, that part of the reason I’m so tired is because of the heavy weight I’m carrying, the heavy weight we’re all carrying. It is okay to be tired. It is okay to grieve. It is okay to be sad.

A couple article have been talking about this in terms of productivity. The New York Times has told us to Stop Trying to Be Productive and the Chronicle of Higher Education is talking about Why You Should Ignore All That Coronavirus-Inspired Productivity Pressure.

So, you’ll probably have to wait a little longer for the Han Shan inspired coronavirus journal entry.