There is an old joke that goes, “How do you make God laugh? Make plans.” I think it is important to remember this as we make our New Years resolutions. Five years ago, I was the director of technology for a very successful financial institution. Year 2000 was a big concern. I did not expect the massive disruption that some people feared, but I did need to go into the office on New Years day to make sure everything was working properly. With the exception of one report we got from a counter party with the date, January 1, 19100, everything seemed to be working fine.

New Years Day 2000. I was putting my life back together after a painful divorce. I had met a new woman, who I would end up proposing to and marrying in the year 2000. Her mother just died a few months earlier and the grief was still quite strong, but everything looked upbeat. We were putting our lives back together and I was making lots of money.

I ended up leaving that job that year. I miss the good salary and some of the people I worked with there. My life changed a lot that year, in many unexpected ways. While I am financially poorer than I was five years ago, I am much better off in many different ways.

Fast forward four years. New Years Day 2004. I had just finished a contract with another very successful financial institution. It was a short-term contract that lasted much longer than I had expected. It had kept us financially solvent and was a fun job as I worked on things that were much more important. Howard Dean was leading the pack of Democrats seeking the presidency. Kim and I were very involved in his campaign. I would need to find a new contract or perhaps return to full time work. Friends were saying that they hoped I wouldn’t find anything until after the primary, or perhaps even after the general election. I remembered an old chant I had learned from coal miners many years earlier, “Our Life, is more than Our Work, and Our Work is more than Our Job.”

Well, Dean did not do well in the primaries and I had to change gears. I did what I could to help with the Kerry campaign, with Diane Farrell’s campaign, and I ran my wife’s campaign for State Representative. I didn’t find a new contract after the primary, or even after the general election.

Fast forward to last night. We were going to have fondue. We would spend time as a family playing board games. It would be a quiet joyful evening at home. I’m not sure who called first, but the late afternoon was filled with phone calls from various relatives. Kim’s grandfather had been hospitalized. He was not doing well, and his son had asked for a DNR order. It was time for Kim to say goodbye to Grandpa Joe. Funerals always seem to come in groups, and it was hard for Kim to go say goodbye so soon after saying goodbye to Auntie Anna.

Within a year after Kim’s mother died, Kim’s grandmother went to join her daughter. Kim’s grandfather had Alzheimer’s and everyone expected him to quickly follow his daughter and his wife. Yet Grandpa Joe is a fighter and this morning, New Years Day, he is still alive.

Kim spent the evening at the hospital, and then went to stay at her father’s house, which is much closer to the hospital than our house. Mairead did an incredible job with the fondue, with a little help from the rest of us. I managed to stab my finger pretty badly as I tried to open a package of cocktail hot dogs.

We all went through the motions, the fondue, playing board games, watching the ball drop, as well as we could. It wasn’t as joyous as any of us would have liked. I didn’t have any champagne. We didn’t have the traditional herring or smoked fishes. I went to bed soon after the ball dropped. Fiona had managed to stay up until 11 PM. I hoped she would sleep late, but I feared that she would wake up around the normal time and be cranky. The pets would probably wake me up early anyway.

And so, another year has passed. Kim just called from her father’s house. Grandpa Joe has made it through the night. Knowing him, he could pull out of this and last another few years, although Fiona said that he would have his wake soon, and she could seem him then.

In a few hours, Mairead heads to her mothers house, and then off to college for her second term. I will miss Mairead a lot. The New Year will begin, and I’ll continue my search for ways to make enough money to pay the mortgage and for my daughter’s schooling. I will continue spend my time trying to make this world a better place in any way that I can.

New Years Day 2005 is not anything like I expected it to be a year ago or five years ago, and I expect that New Years Day 2006 will be as unexpected as this day is.

So, what is my New Years Day resolution? I think I’ll go back to one that I learned many years ago in college. Richard Bell was the philosophy professor that most influenced me in my college days. He often told the story of leading a group of students on a pilgrimage in Spain, following the course of the pilgrimages of years ago. Every twenty miles was a cathedral. It was as far as a pilgrim could walk in a day. Professor Bell spoke about taking these students around to alumni association dinners after their experience. It has been a deeply moving experience for many of the students and they would talk about how it changed their lives.

At one such dinner, an older alumni got up and shook his finger at one of the young students and said, “You know what the problem with you is sonny? You don’t have any goals.”

The student responded, “No, I do have a goal. My goal is to live each day more fully and more lovingly that the previous.”

So, here is to living each day in 2005 more fully and more lovingly that the previous. Happy New Years everyone.