Personal

Personal reflections, comments about things I've been doing, etc.

Sonic Opens in Connecticut

I’m not normally much of a brand fanboy and often miss or tune out popular culture happenings, so it may seem strange to you that I’m writing about the opening of a new fast food joint in Connecticut, but here goes.

Yesterday, Sonic opened its first drive-in in Connecticut. I rarely eat fast food, but I did stop at a Sonic in Texas back about 2005, and I remember that they have good lime-aid. They’ve also been doing a good job with their social media campaign, so I thought I would trek over and check it out.

They had posted a message on a mailing list a while ago about a give-away that they were having that I had gone to and run into a social media buddy. I picked up a Sonic CT T-shirt and wore that.

My first stop was to pick up my daughter at camp. As I walked in a couple of the counselors saw my T-shirt and comment, “Oh, I forgot, Sonic is opening today.” I don’t think they were going to try and make the trip to Wallingford for a burger, however. As we walked out, one of the mother’s picking up her kids saw the T-shirt and commented about how she wished she were younger and could strap on roller skates and work at Sonic.

As we drove up, I told Fiona that it might be a bit of a wait. A lot of people might be stopping by to check out the new Sonic. As we waited in line to get into the parking lot, I asked Fiona how important it was to her to pull up at one of the drive-in spots and have someone deliver our food on rollerskates, or if drive-thru would be okay.

When we were told that the wait for a drive-in spot was around two-hours, she agreed that drive-thru would be fine. Yet even the drive-thru had a long wait and the guy directing traffic suggested we come back in about half an hour. I explained that we lived about half an hour drive away and that didn’t really make sense, so he waved us through.

As we sat in the car, waiting to order our food, Fiona and I talked about the events of the day. Her Nanna had gotten her a new T-shirt. It said KISS on it. Fiona had seen KISS on American Idol. She didn’t really like their makeup, but she thought their music was okay, and any shirt that Nanna got her is special.

We talked about camp, and swimming, and when Kim would be home from work. A Sonic employee came out with Slush samples for people waiting in line. Fiona took a shot of the Green Apple Slush. I had the Orange Slush. We both agreed that the Green Apple Slush was much better than the Orange Slush.

Finally, we got our chance to drive up and order. I had a cheeseburger with the works, onion rings, and a large cherry lime-aid. Fiona tried her first corn-dog, along with fries and a Watermelon Slush.

The burger was better than most fast food. The onion rings were very good, and the large Cherry Lime-Aid was very large. It was also very good. Fiona was pleased to have her first corn dog, but she didn’t really like it that much. The Watermelon Slush was good, but she prefers the Green Apple Slush. She had a bite of my burger which she enjoyed and discovered that she does like mustard on burgers afterall.

As we drove home, I reflected to myself, “Was it really worth the drive and the wait?” If I were just stopping to get fast food, it would not have been worth it. Yet the whole experience was about much more than that. It was about spending time with my daughter doing something fun and a little bit out of the ordinary. That is worth it, whether it be waiting for Sonic not so fast food on the day they opened, or many other quirky things that make life a little more interesting.

"Jump Anyway"

Psalm 8 asks, “What is man that thou art mindful of him?” It goes on to place humans in context; a little lower than God and crowned with glory and majesty. Protagoras wrote, “Man is the measure of all things”. It does seem tempting to measure things in terms of other humans. Yet Protagoras was criticized for relativism. It is an old debate that has been reappearing in my thoughts a bit recently.

Yet I’m not as interested in the philosophical debate of the absolute and the relative. Lately, I’ve been thinking about how this affects us in our daily lives. We’re in the middle of Social Web Week here in Connecticut and I’ve been writing a bit about it. Of course, from a Protagorian viewpoint, I am tempted write about the events of the week based on my own measurement, on my own involvement. Yet Social Web Week has come about through a group of volunteers working together and it is much bigger than the measure of any of us.

It is this perspective that leads me to my interest in the unconference approach to events. It seems like too many panels at too many events are measured in terms of the men on the panels, and this time, I’m talking old white men, and not simply man meaning any sort of human. Yet good events are ones that are much greater than the pontifications of the four or five people on the panel. They are opportunities for everyone to share ideas and learn, whether they are on a panel or in an audience.

Looking at the stuff of our lives as a measure of ourselves can be narcissistically gratifying, but it can also be horribly limiting. It can preclude our ability to experience something beyond our expectations or imaginations.

Yet this focus on the stuff of our lives being merely measures of ourselves seems to pervade so much of Western thinking. In many ways, Wittgenstein’s Tractatus seems like the ultimate hierarchy of propositions reflecting this viewpoint. Yet in his final proposition, Wittgenstein left room for something greater with his “Whereof, one cannot speak, thereof, one must remain silent”.

There are times for silent awe. Yet there is also the time for creativity, for art, for exploring new ideas and finding new language. The idea that there is much more out there than we are currently capable of understanding can be limiting. It can be an argument to not reach out and to settle for what is known. Or, it can be an argument, as one of my favorite musicians says, to jump anyway.

So, jump into art, into Social Web Week, into unconferences, into opportunities to experience something beyond our expectations or imaginations.

(Categories: )

What If It’s Not All Just Slogans?

Those of us who grew up in the Pepsi Generation, who were encouraged to reach out and touch someone and who wanted to teach the world to sing, may find it all too easy to be cynical. We may too quickly dismiss words as mere slogans, but what if it’s not all just slogans?

Sunday morning, I sat in Christ Church in Tarrytown, NY. The priest was a friend from my early days in New York City. Many of us were getting together to remember when we all went to Grace Church in Manhattan. As we waited for the service to begin, Kim asked another long time friend of mine what was Grace Church really all about? Why did so many young people flock to it in the 1980s?

Kirk spoke about a Priest there who struggled hard with transforming an aging blue book relic into a community that really believed in its name, Grace.

What if God really does love us that much? What if it isn’t just words that we mouth on Sunday morning, but something that we believed to the very core of our being? What if we really are forgiven for all those things that we did and shouldn’t have done, and for all those things that we should have done that we just never did get around to doing? What if we really could find a way to love our enemies?

After September 11th, it seems to have gotten much harder to love our enemies. As oil continues to spread across the Gulf of Mexico and the heat soars, it seems harder to believe that there is a God that can clean up our messes and still show us love. As talking heads spew their venom on cable news shows, it becomes nearly impossible to imagine that someone could love President Obama, Sen. Reid, Speaker Pelosi, Rush Limbaugh, and Glenn Beck at the same time.

Yet in those wonderful days of Grace, we did believe that God actually did love us, not as some greeting card slogan but in a life changing manner. Friends became priest and missionaries. They took God’s love with them to their daily lives. They talked about Grace Church at the water coolers and people flooded in.

The decades have passed. We have celebrated each other’s weddings and the births of children. We have comforted each other as marriages ended in divorce and as loved ones have lost battles with horrible diseases. We have had successes and failures. Yet through all of this, the questions remains, what if it’s not all just slogans? What if God really does love us that much?

So, we gathered in Tarrytown and saw old friends. We caught up with one another. We talked about needing to stay more in touch with one another. Kate set up a Facebook group for us.

I’ve wondered what happens to Churches on Main Street as youth gather online instead on Main Street. I checked in at Christ Church Tarrytown on Foursquare, but few others have. I’ve wondered what happens when the discussions around the water cooler moves to discussions on Facebook. How do stories of radical grace get told today?

A key interest for me is telling our stories online. I’ve been interested in the history of revivalism in America. The Great Awakenings have led not only to great religious revivals, but also to major political and social changes. Will the twenty first century bring us a Great Digital Awakening? What might that look like? As people start looking for greater authenticity in their online interactions, especially their interaction with commercial brands, and as people start looking for greater transparency, especially from their governments, will this also affect their religious interactions online? And will these interactions further affect people’s interactions with brands and governments online?

Can our words of faith along with other words online be more than just slogans?

And So, Summer Camp Begins...

It is already hot, sticky and hazy at quarter of nine in the morning as I drive Fiona to camp. The town recreation director is sitting at the entrance to the camp dressed up in a silly outfit to welcome the young campers. “Oh yeah, I forgot about that,” exclaims Fiona.

I drive the old black car through the slalom of small cones to get to the drop off point. As we approach, Fiona shouts out, “Oh, I see two of my friends”. The green is covered with counselors wearing their Woodbridge Recreation Department T-shirts.

I pull the car to a stop and Fiona says, “I think I’m a mermaid this year”. Yup. Her group this year is called the mermaids. A counselor approaches the car and Fiona rolls down the window greeting the counselor saying, “I missed you so much”. The counselor checks what grade Fiona is going into and they are gone.

No longer are there tears of departure, fears of how much she will miss mommy or me, or other protestations. Nope. She is out of the car without so much as a ‘bye’, or ‘thanks for the ride’.

And so, summer camp begins.

(Cross-posted at the Woodbridge Citizen.)

(Categories: )

Evelyn Lull and The Sewing Circle

It wasn’t until my senior year of college that I discovered the works of Virginia Woolf. A few years later, I had the good fortune to hear Angelica Bell Garnett talk at the Metropolitan Museum in New York about her childhood in the Bloomsbury Circle. There was something that resonated with me about her talk. I couldn’t put my finger on it and chocked it up to my fascination with their group.

Yesterday, it became clearer to me. I grew up in a similar circle. No, the Lull’s, Hynes’, Kelly’s, Lamont’s, Johanson’s, Seeley’s, Hatton’s and others were not famous painters, poets, philosophers and novelists the way the Bell’s, Woolf’s, Forester’s and others were, yet there was a lot in common.

Yesterday, remnants of the sewing circle gathered to remember a recently deceased matron of the group, Evelyn Lull. My childhood perceptions of the group are perhaps even less clear than Angelica’s perception of the group she grew up in, so these are my own recollections which may, or may not, relate all that closely to the facts of The Sewing Circle.

In the early sixties, my family and other families moved to Williamstown, MA. The men were engineers, coming to work at Sprague Electric. Sprague was a large capacitor manufacture that made components for industry, the military and NASA. The families of these men became a close knit group, The Sewing Circle. I don’t know how much The Sewing Circle was families whose patriarchs were engineers at Sprague, how much it was of mothers that knew each other from the parent teacher association, friends from church, from Scouting, or other circles. I know that my closest friends of my childhood came from this circle, and I went to school, scouting and church with these friends.

We would gather on summer evenings at one families’ house or another. Mothers would take care of the children of other mothers in the circle. Every so often, the mothers would gather for ‘Sewing Circle’. I remember these days fondly, not so much because of the prospect of being left home with older siblings or a babysitter, but because my mother would bake something special for the ‘Sewing Circle’ and bake an extra goodie for us as well. Tea rings were my favorite.

A couple years ago, Bill Seeley died. Bill was one of the fathers in this circle that had left Sprague to teach in local schools or colleges. Other’s had done the same thing, and these families seemed to survive the best. My father, Evelyn Lull’s husband, and others, stayed at Sprague until things got much worse.

It was America in the late sixties and early seventies. The country was at war. There was turmoil at home. Arts, feminism and pacifism were themes reshaping our society. Friendships were torn by this. Sprague was hit by a strike. Many families were torn apart, especially those of the men that stayed at Sprague.

I don’t know whatever happened between Roger and Evelyn Lull. As best as I can tell, Roger ended up with mental health problems, lost his job at Sprague and got a divorce. We kept going over to the Lull’s house out in the hopper. It was an old farm house by a creek, another one of those idyllic settings where we chased fireflies in the early summer evenings after having played in the hayloft, swum in the stream or jumped on an outdoors trampoline.

Evelyn, like my mother, and many of the other mothers in the sewing circle participated in the fine arts. Besides the fiber arts of knitting and crochet at The Sewing Circle gatherings, they painted, sculpted, and found other ways of expressing themselves artistically. As their families fell apart, they stuck together and supported one another. Evelyn was a special source of strength to many.

At the memorial, Evelyn’s brother-in-law, Mack, spoke of her as an important link in a long line of strong women. In the eighteen hundreds, Ida Stapleton sought to enter divinity school. Her husband was a missionary in Turkey, and she wanted to serve as well. She was denied so she became a medical doctor. Robert and Ida served in Ezroom Turkey during the Armenian genocide. Mack spoke about the strong woman that Ida’s daughter became, and then about Ida’s granddaughter Evelyn.

There were other stories told at the memorial. Stories about eating freshly caught fish for breakfast, alongside blueberry pancakes. People talked about what a great cook Evelyn was, a job she ended up doing professionally at Williams College after her divorce. There were stories about how Evelyn always spoke to everyone as an equal and how this had strongly struck so many children who had always felt talked down to by others. People talked about being taught to paint by Evelyn.

Vanessa Bell’s daughter, Angelica Bell Garnett was born on Christmas Day towards the end of World War I. Evelyn Lull’s daughter, Daphne was also born on Christmas Day, during the cold war. She is now an artist living in Italy. I don’t know if she read E. M. Forster’s Italian novels, but in my mind it is yet another parallel between The Bloomsbury Circle and The Sewing Circle.

Evelyn’s son Cliff now lives in a bucolic setting that echoes my childhood memories out in the hopper. There is a creek on the property that has been dammed up for swimming, a garden, and a house that has received a lot of work.

I also wonder how much I have passed on from Evelyn and The Sewing Circle to my children. The sense of talking to children as peers instead of down to them is something I always carried with me. I’ve taken flack from others for this, but I believe my children have grown up more expressive and better off for this.

At the memorial, a person commented that they always wanted to have their memorial service before they died. They were such interesting times and powerful chances to reconnect with one another. There is something to this. Too often, I’ve been to funerals where people talk about how they haven’t seen one another since the last funeral and they should get together in happier times. At one point, when Fiona was younger, we headed off to a family reunion, and when we explained this to her, she asked, “Who died?”

We need more chances to remember what is important about our families and social circles. We need reunions and celebrations and birthdays and anniversaries. We need the arts to remind us of beauty and things that matter.

And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet's wings.

Rest In Peace, Evelyn Lull.

(Categories: )
Syndicate content