Personal

Personal reflections, comments about things I've been doing, etc.

The Package

Last night, I had a strange dream that has stuck with me into the morning. I suspect that it is pulling in themes from various things going on in my life, but instead of attempting to analyze it, I want to write down as much of it as I can.

I was working at a hospital and received a large manilla envelope. It was full of various clippings and artifacts. One of the first things I found was a note. It was addressed to Aldon Hynes, so I felt quite clear I was the intended recipient. The exact address was unintelligible, but it was in Adarnton, KS. I don’t believe there is a city named Adarnton in Kansas. However, it struck me that Adarnton was the first initial and the last name of my first wife.

I haven’t had my ex-wife show up in a dream in a long long time, and that seemed really weird. Yet the whole thing seemed weirder still. It was an unexpected package and I wondered how it found its way to me. As I read some of the notes it became apparent that an elderly widow had given the package to a hospital administrator in Texas and asked that he get the package to me. Somehow, he managed to find the hospital I worked at and got it delivered through some sort of inter-hospital mail.

My job at the hospital was unclear. It wasn’t a medical job, nor was it an administrative job. It seemed to have some sort of therapeutical role related to helping people use social media.

I knew a little bit about the elderly widow. A few weeks ago, I had led a conference call on learning to use social media. The plan had been to do it as a webinar and to explore various aspects of social media. However, the group I ended up talking to was not especially experienced with technology and a webinar was too complicated, as was going beyond anything other than simple blogging.

The participants were long time friends and they took to the idea of using blogs to stay better in touch with one another during their final years. They would share stories of their present day lives, visits from grandchildren and great grandchildren, memories of their past; perhaps a little online scrapbooking or sharing other crafts they were working on.

The woman who sent me the package was, for lack of a better term, the queen bee in waiting of this small social group. Unfortunately, the queen bee herself was ill and could not join the discussion. A few weeks later, the queen bee died, and the package was various clipping and memories of the queen bee.

I started to look through the package. I knew that there was a lot in there, a lot of deep personal memories, and something of great value, if I could figure it out. There were pointers to the beginning of blogs of various members of the group, and I was pleased to see the progress they were making.

At this point, waking life intruded on my dream. It was time to start the day. Yet waiting for me in my dreams is a packet with an important secret.

(Categories: )

Earworms, Halloween, Babbit and Picking Up The Pieces

I’ve been suffering from an earworm infestation recently. Earworms,those snippets of songs you get into your mind and can’t get out. For people of my generation, Minnie Ripperton’s “Loving You Is Easy because you’re beautiful” lyrics may come to mind when we think about earworms. If you have a kid at home who likes Degrassi High the words, “Maybe there’s a shark in the water” is likely to come to mind.

There’s a blog called something like “Picking up the pieces...” that I’ve been stumbling across a bit recently and every time I see it mentioned, Gordon Lightfoot’s “Carefree Highway” comes to mind:

Picking up the pieces of my sweet shattered dream
I wonder how the old folks are to night

This morning, I read the latest on Facebook from Sarah, a friend who recently lost her father. Yesterday, in the middle of the night, she wrote

Massive flight delays, flight changes, hotel vouchers, and one LONG middle seat flight later, I'm in Phoenix.

Eight hours later, she posted

Westward bound, to San Diego and Dad's funeral mass. Gonna be a tough day; feeling very grateful for the support of family and friends. And hugs. Always grateful for hugs!

Then, earlier today, she posted another the lyrics from a song that has also seemed to be an earworm for me recently.

"And He will lift you up on eagles' wings, bear you on the breath of dawn-- make you to shine like the sun, and hold you in the palm of His hand."

I remember singing this at many funerals, most recently my cousin’s. I also remember the way it was twisted in a stunning production of Richard 3, and depending on my mood either version becomes my earworm.

When Sarah’s father died, she posted

Our cowboy just rode on to more peaceful pastures. Godspeed, Dad. You will be missed each and every day.

On Thursday, State Rep. Mike Lawlor wrote:

Its happy hour in heaven. Eileen Purcell McNamara Lawlor had a great run. She loved her family and her friends. She will certainly be missed.

When I wrote about my uncle’s passing, a friend commented about how Roger was always the perfect gentleman. Somehow, I could easily see him waiting at happy hour ready to offer Eileen a drink. I imagine Flo Woodiel being there as well, along with Kim’s mother and grandparents. A year ago, a friend named Carol ended her battle with Leukemia as did Irv a year and a half ago. I imagine them there and perhaps even Rocky, my high school classmate that was murdered thirty four years ago this October.

So, it was with an eagle’s wing’s earworm that I took my daughter the the Beecher Road Parent Teacher Organization’s big fundraiser of the year, the Halloween Hoot. Fiona quickly found her posse and ran off to the haunted house and other attractions. She is old enough to do that fairly well, but I felt it was important to stay at the school in case she needed something. We agreed that I would sit in the corner of the cafeteria where I could quietly sit and read.

A while ago, I had loaded an eBook of Sinclair Lewis’ Babbit on my cellphone. I sat down and read for a while. Babbit’s growing disillusionment with the American Dream and the vacuous lives of himself and is friends mingled with the hymn about death and the Halloween Hoot.

I looked around the room. These are good people in a small town. Many were focused on their little cats, cows, ladybugs, witches, or princesses. There were several Mario’s this year joined by a sumo wrestler and a taco. The taco costume was pretty cool. The kids all seemed to be having a great time, except for one toddler who had been overstimulated and was melting down. If the parents got a chance, they would exchange a few simple words with other parents. Some were in mourning because the Yankees lost last night. Others talked about getting pumpkins or even politics.

And He will raise you up on eagle's wings...

Halloween, All Hallow’s Eve, or All Saint’s Eve, comes from the combining of two traditions. One is Samhain, a Gallic harvest festival. It is celebrated at the end of the harvest as the border between this world and the otherworld grows thin. All Saint’s Day, in Western Christianity is November 1st. It is a day to remember the saints who have gone before us. A hymn that I’ve always loved from All Saint’s Day is For All The Saints.

For all the saints, who from their labors rest,
Who Thee by faith before the world confessed,

So, the Halloween Hoot: I sat in the corner, reading George Babbit’s disillusionment with the world around him. I looked at the good people around me, and thought how I could likewise be disillusioned. Yet at the same time, I was aware of the thinness between this world and the next, of how we are all born astride the grave, and the earworms crawled in, the earworms crawled out, the earworms played pinocle... No, another earworm.

Fiona returned to drop off her bag of goodies and run elsewhere. The Super Mario’s blithely ran around the cafeteria. Maybe Babbit is right, or maybe there’s a shark in the water. Maybe we are all just picking up the pieces of various sweet shattered dreams.

(Categories: )

Remembering Roger

Sometimes in these days of instant communications, news still moves slowly. I found that to be the case today when I received a phone call asking if I knew that my Uncle Roger died last week. A couple people had sent me emails to let me know, but they went to an old address that I don’t often check.

Roger was my father’s older brother. He was 83 years old and had been fighting Alzheimer’s disease. The reports are that he died peacefully with his wife of 62 years by his side.

When I was young he and his family lived near Albany, NY. My father’s younger brother lived in the suburbs of Washington, DC, so we referred to our relatives as the Albany Hyneses and the Washington Hyneses. We were not as close knit a family as my wife’s family is, and we would only see the Albany Hyneses a few times a year, and the Washington Hyneses even less.

It was a little over an hour to Uncle Roger’s house. We would all pile in the blue dodge van and head over Petersburg Pass to Albany. My memories of the trips are fuzzy. They lived in a suburban community. We would pull into the driveway and enter into the house through the basement. In the basement as a pool table. Hanging above the pool table where two strings of beads. Every fifth bead had a number on it, 5, 10, 15. They were used for scoring the pool games.

Roger had three sons, Keith, Scott and Craig. Craig, the youngest was four years older than I. He was a year younger than my eldest brother and a year older than my second eldest brother. My younger sister and I were often the odd wheels out at these gatherings.

Upstairs were the stereotypical family reunions; casseroles, macaroni salads, maybe even shredded carrots in Jello. Uncle Roger worked for Armour Meat Packing, so there were probably hot dogs and cold cuts. In our family, alcohol was primarily used for medicinal purposes. There would be a bottle of brandy stuck somewhere in the corner of the medicine cabinet to be taken for various ailments. The Albany Hyneses were different. They drank alcohol for pleasure. I seem to remember them mostly drinking wine, but also I seem to recall times when my mother would have a whiskey sour.

Another thing that was different was television. My memories are that they had a nice color television. We didn’t get a television until I was about seven, and then it was a small black and white set that received three channels. They were Albany stations, and I suspect that it was the same three channels that the Albany Hyneses watched.

Yet they watched different shows. We watched the Wonderful World of Disney and The FBI with Ephraim Zimbalist Jr. They watched The Lawrence Welk Show. It was jovial times at the Albany Hyneses and Uncle Roger always seemed happy.

Another thing that made the Albany Hyneses different was that they were golfers. When I worked as a caddy when I got a little bit older, I got a little bit of a glimpse into their world and found a little common ground. But my caddying was short lived and we still didn’t see them that often.

When Uncle Roger retired, he moved down to Hilton Head, SC, presumably to play as much golf as he pleased. I don’t remember seeing them again after they moved, but on rare occasions I would communicate with one of the Albany Hyneses. Then I heard that he had Alzheimer’s. Every so often, I would here a comment about how the disease was progressing.

My wife’s grandfather had died of Alzheimer’s so I had a good sense of what was going on, even as I just heard snippets from afar. Now, Uncle Roger is dead. The disease slowly took his memory and finally his life. Now, all I have are a few fragile memories of Uncle Roger.

Rest In Peace, Roger Folkins Hynes, Jr.

(Categories: )

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit. Push down stack overflow. Not really.

I like to start each month with the childhood invocation of good luck, Rabbit, Rabbit. There are many variations on this, and I'm not sure it has really brought me any good luck, but it is a good opportunity to take a monthly look at how things are going.

Right now, I feel like I'm approaching a push down stack overflow. That is an old computer term that might best be understood thinking back to school cafeterias. Do you remember those carts that the dishes came in? They were stainless steel, three feet tall and had those small industrial wheels that made them difficult to move around, but would withstand anything. Some had open sides, so you could easily grab a dish. Others had springs so that the top dish would always be near the top. With these, if you put more dishes in it, it would push down, keeping things level, until it was full. Anything more than that would result in the dishes towering about the cart. It would be unstable and prone towards accidents.

Computers use push down stacks as well. Sometimes they are spoken about in terms of LIFO, Last In, First Out. Yet these stacks also have a limit, and at some point, they overflow. Instead of dishes crashing to the floor, this results in the computer program crashing.

Well, it feels like I've got so much on my plate, that I'm approaching a push down stack overflow. I haven't been able to keep up with my emails. There are thousands of unread emails I need to get to. There are many articles online I need to read. I have more article ideas than I have time for, and I also want to work on articles strictly to increase my writing skills. Next month is National Novel Writing Month, and I have a great idea, but I just don't know if I'll have time to execute it.

Now that I'm trying to do a little ebook reading, that is in my queue as well. Beyond that, we have a puppy at the house that needs more attention. There are the dishes and clothes that need cleaning. Underlying all of this are financial concerns. I need to be hustling to get more billable hours which takes precedence over these other things. Meanwhile, I'm doing too much pro bono work. PodcampCT is coming up and that is taking a lot of my energy. I'm doing what I can to increase civic engagement in politics and local news.

Yeah, the first of each month is a good time to wish for luck and take a look at things going on. I hope that some good luck will come this month in terms of projects falling into place, taking less time, but bringing more billable hours. Hopefully, you'll have a good month too.

(Categories: )

Random Notes

Yesterday, I went to the Durham Fair. In a little while, I'll get on the road to head up to the National Conference of State Legislature's Redistricting Seminar in Providence, Rhode Island. It hasn't left me a lot of time to develop blog ideas, so this will be a collection of random notes.

It has been a busy week, and since I'll be in Providence this evening and since I haven't had a chance to resolve the technical problems with BlogTalkRadio, we are canceling Fiona's Radio Show again this week. I was hoping to do a video show from the Durham fair, but the battery on my cellphone was nearly dead so I didn't get to it.

I try to visit a lot of blogs every day. In doing so, at various times, interesting themes emerge. These might be common themes between different blogs. For example, sometimes a paid post theme emerges when everyone is writing about the same pair of eyeglasses, resort, or electric wheelchair.

Other times, I see warnings about sites with Malware problems:
Warning: Visiting this site may harm your computer!

Recently, I've been seeing this a lot from sites that use rpc.blogrolling.com. As a general rule, if it is part of a larger problem, like blogrolling, I just skip over it. Sometimes, it might be a fellow blogger having unexpected problems, and if that is the case, I try to let them know. Blogrolling comes in 18th on my list of referring sites according to Google Analytics.

Another issue that happened recently was that BlogCatalog was down for a while. This slowed down sites using BlogCatalog, so I removed the widget for the time being. I'll probably add it back a bit later. BlogCatalog comes in 14th on my list of referring sites.

It is a pretty eclectic mix of blogs that I read. Everything from politics to cancer survivors. I just read a very interesting combination of the two where a cancer survivor wishes that Mike Huckabee gets cancer. While I would not wish cancer on my worst enemy, I hear where she is coming from when she writes:

this loser, this alleged "Man of God" dares compare me and millions of other Americans to a house? For all posterity he is on the record as comparing a pre-existing medical condition to that of insuring a home that has already burned down

Here in Connecticut, just about every other Google Ad that I see is for Linda McMahon who is spending millions of her own money on her campaign. Every ad looks the same.

As I did a little preparation for this blog post, I stopped at Rick Green's: More From The Linda McMahon Stepford Wives! Oh Yeah! On this page was an advertisement for Warren Mosler, one of the other candidates running for U.S. Senate that you don't hear much about. Hmm, I wonder if I should run for U.S. Senate as well.

I stumbled across Rick's column in searching for "linda mcmahon stepford wife" because the one Linda McMahon ad that pops up everywhere makes her look a bit like a stepford wife. Others have commented that some of McMahon's ads need to be redone as Thelma and Louise. Any creatives out there want to do a Thelma and Louise, Stepford Wife, and Linda McMahon mashup? Perhaps the best mashup would be to bring in as many different movies as possible exploring stereotypes of women, especially Connecticut women. Ice Storm. Legally Blond. Fairytopia. The Disney Princesses. Maybe even a few WWE clips. Got other ideas?

(Categories: )
Syndicate content