I knew this place, I knew it well,
Every sound and every smell,
And every time I walked, I fell
For the first two years or so

On Tuesday, we went to a memorial for my Uncle Roger who passed away last fall. It took place out on Cape Cod, a place where Roger and his wife Marge had gone for sixty of their sixty-two married years. My cousins were there, three men whom I don’t believe I’ve seen since they were boys over thirty years ago, yet there we were, family. While our family trips had been mostly to other parts of the Cape, the words of David’ Mallet’s song, I Knew This Place, came back to me.

There across the grassy yard,
I, a young one, running hard,
Brown and bruised and battle scarred
And lost in sweet illusion

My cousin Scott told stories of growing up. My grandfather died when my father was twelve and Roger was thirteen and they both worked hard through out their childhood, so much so that when my uncle joined the navy as a strong wiry young man, he astounded the folks at basic training with his ability to do pushups. The story came back to me as I read an op-ed suggesting that perhaps for lesson in shared sacrifice, we should send Congress to boot camp.

Scott talked about growing up in Waterbury, CT, before moving to Albany, NY. I always thought of my uncle, aunt and three cousins as being the ‘Albany Hyneses’ and hadn’t heard much about the Waterbury days. Scott told stories about how his parents had built a basketball court in the backyard, as well as other things to keep the kids at home, and in many ways, their house became the gathering place for the kids in the neighborhood, as Roger and Marge kept a close eye on everyone. It harkened back to a day when families and communities were stronger.

Scott traced the family’s travels to Pittsburgh as the Steelers ended their winning ways and then to Baltimore when the Colts slipped out of town under the cover of night, watching local meat packers close down with the advent of refrigerated trucks and more centralized packing.

By then the kids were all off on their own, and I suspect the house wasn’t that much like the House in Baltimore that David Glaser sings about,

grew up in a house in Baltimore
We marked our time with presidents and wars
and our days fled like a passing summer storm
In that little house in Baltimore

Yet one of the verses captures some of my memories of being a kid back in those days,

Dad, he worked a lot - we never saw much of him
Sometimes on sunday nights - we would gather round the TV
Widen our eyes - to the Wonder World of Disney
Family night - the Twister mat spread on the basement floor

My mind wanders back to “I Knew This Place”,

And as these thoughts come back to me
Like ships across the friendly sea
Like breezes blowing endlessly
Like rivers running deep

Life was really hard on me when my first marriage fell apart. I spent time talking with a therapist as I tried to make sense of all of it. At one point, she asked if what I was looking for was a “Father Knows Best” type of world. Not being much of a television fan, and being a strong believer in equality, I said I didn’t really think that captured things, but as we explore the idea she was trying to communicate, something about strong families staying together through tough times, it seemed like there was at least something to the idea.

Home is an important idea, not necessarily the fifties home that David Glaser sings about, although that may be closer to my ideal that much of what passes for family life these days. Perhaps a little bit closer is the home that David Carter and Tracy Grammer sing about in “Gentle Arms of Eden”,

This is my home, this is my only home
This is the only sacred ground that i have ever known
And should i stray in the dark night alone
Rock me goddess in the gentle arms of eden

So, how do I tie this all together? Perhaps by pulling in a few other songs about home, like Paul Simon singing Homeward Bound,

Homeward bound, I wish I was homeward bound
Home, where my thoughts escape, at home, where my music's playin'
Home, where my love lies waitin' silently for me

Then, upon returning home, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young can finish it off with “Our House”

Our house is a very, very fine house
With two cats in the yard
Life used to be so hard
Now everything is easy
'Cause of you