Archive - 2016
February 28th
On The Process
Submitted by Aldon Hynes on Sun, 02/28/2016 - 09:03This morning’s Old Testament lesson is Exodus 3:1=15, Moses and the burning bush. We spoke about it Thursday at the discernment committee, mostly in terms of God calling Moses, but in just about every calling story, there is another part of the story, when the called returns to their people. Will the message be accepted? Believed? Heeded?
I’m part of a group on Facebook, where those of us who are seeking discernment share our stories and support one another. It seems like all of us run into stories of people who think they are supposed to become an ordained deacon or priest, only to be rejected by the Commission on Ministry. Many of these people carry deep hurt or bitterness. In the group, people ask, is the process broken?
I commented:
Yes. It seems like mentioning that you are seeking discernment is an invitation for everyone to tell you every horror story possible about the process. I've lost track of how many people have told me their horror stories.
It is broken. It is as broken as the most broken person in the process. Yet it is all filled with grace. It is as full of grace as the most grace filled person in the process.
We are stuck in the middle bring both our brokenness, and our God given grace.
I believe God is calling me to the ordained priesthood. I pray that those who will decide whether to accept me as a postulant arrive at the same feeling.
I expect that such a decision is still months away, and I have to live out what God is calling me to, today. Today, I am a person in the process. I pray that God will use me, in this process to help others in the process and perhaps even, to bring new thoughts and new experiences to the process so it may be more grace filled for others who will go through the process in the future.
One thing I should perhaps clarify, when I speak about the broken people in the process, I am speaking equally about the candidates, as I am of the Bishops and members of the commissions on ministry.
One of the things I’ve been thinking a lot about in the process is what a great responsibility being a priest is. In the celebration and blessing of a marriage, towards the beginning of the service, the celebrant says,
Therefore marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God.
The couple, and the community are both asked if anyone knows any reason the couple should not be married, and all of this comes after the couple has spent a lot of time speaking with the priest.
A bad marriage can be terrible; how much more so, a bad priest. With the marriage, the priest makes a decision about blessing the marriage. Sometimes, the priest gets it wrong. With becoming a postulant, the bishop, with the advice of a commission on ministry makes the decision. Sometimes, they get it wrong too, both by accepting someone who shouldn’t be or by not accepting someone who should be.
One of the places, where the process is broken, is that it seems like for many, the question being asked is, will the church accept me as a postulant for ordination. This seems to be the framing of the question for both seeking ordination, and for those who will make the decision. I have been fortunate in that my own framing of the question, and those who ultimately will make decisions about my journey are asking instead, “What sort of ministry is God calling Aldon to?” It is my hope that when the discussion comes to whether or not others in positions of authority talk with me about this again, it will continue in this fashion, and should the decision be, “not now”, there will be a good discussion about what should happen now.
Another concern that people bring up is how long the process takes. Given what an important decision it is, this doesn’t seem to bother me as much as it bothers other people. Of course, my process has been going rather smoothly so far. I may have very different feelings if it gets delayed or if I get rejected. Some of my tolerance of the length of the process comes from the fact that I believe I was called back when I was young, and didn’t reply. God has been waiting for me for many years. I can wait for God as long as it takes. I’m also reading the book “Slow Church” right now. I’ve got mixed feelings about the book so far. I wish I would see more about waiting for God in the book. Yet there is an important message in there about slowing things down.
Yet I will note that it is a difficult time being in the process, and I suspect even more difficult as the process drags on. For me, that part of the reason why finding a community of others in similar situations is so important.
And so, I wait, with my fellow seekers, for more clarity, more discernment about what God is calling me to, what God is calling my fellow seekers to. Let us support one another in our journeys.
February 27th
Standing Against the Pandemic of Dissension
Submitted by Aldon Hynes on Sat, 02/27/2016 - 09:59On Thursday night, the discernment committee met and we discussed calling. What is our calling? What happened when we felt called by God? How is each one of us called by God? A large part of the discussion was around my calling, which to a certain extent makes sense since the discernment committee was convened to help me with this task, but part of helping me discern my calling is to hear the stories of others, and there were some other deeply moving stories told, and I would have loved to hear more about others callings.
We started off by reading the stories of the calling of Moses, Samuel, and Isaiah. Afterwards, I thought about writing the story of my calling in the style of the stories in the Old Testament. I’ve hesitated about posting it, lest it seem like boasting or blasphemy, but a dream I had last night caused me to rethink this. So, here is the story of the calling I experienced in May 2105 written in an Old Testament style.
During a guided meditation at a poetry conference at Yale Divinity School, the Lord came to me and said, "Aldon, I love you more than you can imagine or understand".
And I said to the Lord, "Lord, I am not worthy"
And the Lord said to me, "Aldon, I know all your faults, yet I have made you worthy through the blood of Christ"
And the Lord said to me, "Aldon, you have been made to show forth My Love to those around you. You have done this through your work, and your writing, and your politics. From now on this is to be your primary goal"
And I said to the Lord, "Here I am"
A month later, I was reading the Old Testament lesson about the calling of Isaiah in church on Trinity Sunday, and I said aloud, reading the lesson, and praying at the same time, "Here I am. Lord, send me."
And the Lord said to me, "The time has come for you to become an ordained priest." Over the following months, I struggled with these words. I thought about the process of becoming a priest, and the Lord said, "All will be accomplished according to my plan".
So, I began the process, seeking to better discern God’s will and learn God’s plan. As I spoke with the homeless man on the street, I asked the Lord, is this whom I should serve?", and the Lord answered, "yes". I spoke with the infirm man in the nursing home and I asked the Lord, "Is this whom I should serve?" and the Lord answered, "yes". I sat in church groups, praying for each member and I asked the Lord, "Are these whom I should serve?" and the Lord answered "yes."
I heard stories of politicians saying hateful things, things that I believed were contrary to God’s message, and I asked the Lord, “Should I love even these people?”
And the Lord said, “Yes.”
And I heard stories of religious leaders shunning other religious leaders and refusing aid from certain countries because of disagreements over doctrine, and I asked the Lord, “Should I love even these people?”
And the Lord said, “Yes.”
Last night, I dreamt that I was at some sort of religious camp or retreat. The organizer was saying various things that felt very narrow and would exclude people from hearing the message of God’s Love. I spoke the truth, in Love and he changed his ways.
I don’t expect to see such a change in the U.S. political discourse, or in the discourse of the Anglican Communion because of my words, but I pray that they might be at least a small ripple of hope, a ripple of love in a climate where dissension seems to have become pandemic.
February 26th
Blogging the Alphabet - Ingress Agent Stats
Submitted by Aldon Hynes on Fri, 02/26/2016 - 21:23A long week comes to an end. There have been lots of things going on. Time demands, technology malfunctions, other stresses. I have various blog posts in partial completion, but none that I feel ready to complete this evening.
One idea, has been to reflect on what Chrome thinks I’m most interested in. Type a letter, and see what website Chrome thinks I want to go to. I’ve thought about doing an analysis of this, what percentage of letters go to what type of websites. But that would take more time than I’m up for, so instead, I’ll start blogging the alphabet, typing in a character, and using it for a blog prompt. If the blog prompt isn’t all that compelling, I may use a couple letter, or look at the other suggestions for a given letter.
So, let me start with ‘A’. The most common website for me beginning with the letter ‘A’ is agent-stats.com. This is a website that has statistics about various scores in Ingress, the augmented reality game I like to play on my cellphone. As an aside, this has not been a great week for playing Ingress either. I haven’t had good walking days, which may contribute to it being a long week.
For my agent stats, I am level 16. That is currently the highest level you can get in Ingress. I have 54 million AP. That a basic score used for getting to higher levels. In Agent Stats, there are close to 5000 agents who have reported an AP score. Two of them have scores over 300 million, and I rank at about 1000th.
I believe my highest ranking on these boards is for recharging, where I currently have 241 million XM recharged. That puts me at 129 out of about 2200. The highest is 877 million
Agent stats also calculates when you are most likely to get your next badge. On Sunday, I should get my Onyx sojourner badge, for hacking 360 days in a row. My next badge is predicted to be platinum liberator, which I should receive at the end of May.
February 24th
More random stuff
Submitted by Aldon Hynes on Wed, 02/24/2016 - 21:42Another long day, another blank page. I did some interesting writing this morning, trying to think about religious identity the way others think about gender identity. At lunch, it was raining pretty hard, so I cut my midday walk short. After work, I chatted with a friend about the current U.S. political landscape. There was an upgrade to Ingress that didn’t install properly, so I didn’t do much for Ingress on the way home. Now, I will read a little and head off to sleep.
February 23rd
A "This is Water" Sort of Day
Submitted by Aldon Hynes on Tue, 02/23/2016 - 21:52It has been one of those “This is water” days, where the “day in, day out” routines have just worn me down. Yes, there have been bright spots though out the day, but I’m tired, frustrated and grumpy.
I look for other things to say, but they just aren’t there today.
